Episode 3: Never Judge a Lady by her Lover
9:01
J: John? I forget who he is…
Awkward
K: Oh God, what’s up John? You are still gorgeous and you’re successful! I remember when you were just a gardener; you’ve grown up so much. But now you’re a pedophile. Fantastic. You’ve learned from your experience with Gaby. That would be the ultimate irony if he hooked up with Ana. By the way, my mother and I both screamed when he came onto the screen.
John is the guy that Gaby had an affair with in the first season. He was underage. It was when Carlos worked all the time and left her alone.
9:03
J: “Seemed like a pretty nice kid,” said Lynette. “Yeah, except for the strangling,” said Gaby
K: Hahah I love this so much. But Gaby, that was a little too soon for Susan I think. She’s not very PC is she?
9:05
J: Susan! What are you doing, accusing Angie’s son of attempted murder in front of the whole neighborhood?
K: Susan, calm down. It is probably true, but you still need to chill. It is her personality to flip like this though. But, I wish my favorite Wisteria lawyer wasn’t defending a creeper.
9:06
J: Alright, enough of Bree’s affair. Uh oh, Karl wants her to come along on a romantic getaway?
K: Aww, it’s obvious that Karl has legit feelings for Bree.
9:07
J: Love the look on Lynette’s kids’ faces when she told them she’s pregnant –with twins.
The reversing role is fantastic, especially with her kids acting like the parents.
K: “Aren’t you going to be like the world’s oldest mom?” Thanks Lynette’s son.
Penny’s right, Lynette needs some girls
9:08
J: The new people are still trying to hide their background from the lawyer…why are they so suspicious?
“THIS FAMILY HAS SECRETS!” Oh really, Danny, I didn’t know that!
K: Thanks for stating the obvious, Danny.
9:15
J: Oh, that’s who John is…he was the gardener…I remember him now.
K: Carlos looks like he expects John to say he had an affair with Gaby again.
9:16
J: Carlos thinks it’s a good idea that Ana should work at John’s restaurant. I think I know where he’s going with this…
K: “It’s just that every time I see you, I want to put my fist in your face.” Thank you Carlos. I, on the other hand, missed John because I just love his personality. Let’s go with that.
J: Eh, I obviously didn’t miss John…I couldn’t even remember who he is.
9:17
J: Okay so he only wanted to see how Gaby would react to that. So she WAS jealous!
9:18
J: Is Karl stalking Bree? Karl has another woman! Ooo, Bree’s looking jealous!
K: She does have feelings for him! I want them to actually admit their feelings.
J: As much as I don’t like the idea of their affair, I actually like Bree and Karl together. Maybe it’s because I can’t stand Orson.
K: I think they are actually really cute together.
9:23
K: Oh my God, Karl get out! I was starting to like you a lot, but now you are a complete jerk?? I thought there was something cute, but the truth comes out: you’re just using Bree for sex. Woah! Orson and Candace connection. Hopefully, there was a relationship there too. Super awkward.
J: Okay, definitely jealous. Eww, “lobster first, then dessert.”
K: I definitely thought Candace had a real secret and I got really excited. Thanks for letting me down, Orson.
9:24
J: Neighborhood stakeout, Susan-style.
9:25
J: Here comes Danny!
K: Honking the horn accidentally is just like Susan. Just so very graceful.
9:26
K: Nice touching moment. I thought Susan might have decided not to chase Danny after that. It’s just like the Porter situation last year.
J: Ooo, a car chase! But yeah, I can see where’s Lynette’s coming, since her own (innocent) son was in Danny’s position last season.
9:27
K: I love Bree’s comments. They are biting and bitterly sarcastic comments, so Bree-like.
“She’s beneath you.” “Not yet, but she will be.” Romantic, Karl. And she better not be.
J: Bree! You’re so evil, pouring oil on the dance floor. My mom and I both burst out laughing at this.
9:29
K: I’m going to say Bree is willing to do whatever it takes now to be with Karl. I think this is going to change their physical relationship to something more real. Obviously, Karl just brought the girl to make Bree jealous. I bet he was hoping or knew that Bree would realize her feelings for him.
J: He definitely brought her just to annoy Bree.
9:33
K: I forgot Lynette is working for Carlos. New promotion at the worst time.
Carlos’ thinking is sort of illegal. I hope Judy finds out. But now, he can’t take the promotion away from Lynette because she has some blackmail. I bet she’s going to use that as a lever if he takes the promotion away.
J: Uh oh, conflict again with Lynette’s pregnancy. Lynette definitely deserves the promotion, regardless of whether or not she’s having kids.
9:35
J: Orson is suspicious, but he’s wrong! Poor guy, he’s waaaaaay off.
K: Ironic. She realizes she’s in love with Karl. Orson doesn’t realize that he just made Bree pull farther from him and realize her true feelings for Karl. Good, I’d love to see Bree in Vegas. She’s probably going to try to clean the casinos.
9:38
K: I wonder what their original names were. So they have multiple incidents in the past.
J: Obviously they had some sort of incident, but I didn’t think it was more than one.
9:39
J: Susan, don’t you dare accuse Danny!
SUSAN! Don’t do it! She’s going to kill him with the carjack!
K: Susan is going to get arrested for what she did. She is going absolutely insane. I know your daughter was attacked, but I don’t want you doing something stupid as well.
Like Susan, I support you in basically everything you do in this show, but that went too far. I bet it wasn’t Danny that attacked Julie.
J: Chill out, woman! Ever heard the saying ‘innocent until proven guilty?’
K: I feel bad for that kid though. I wonder how they’re going to explain what happened?
J: Then again, you can’t be certain that he’s innocent either. Maybe he did strangle her…
K: Yeah, he’s the only person it could be. Although we haven’t heard much from Katherine this episode… (Thankfully)
9:40
K: That’s an awkward position for mother and son to be in.
J: Slightly.
During the break- Cougartown looks like a cheap imitation of DH—with a lot less drama. And it seems like they are trying to make Courtney Cox’s character like Gaby from the earlier seasons.
9:45
K: Lynette is so ambitious.
“You said I was beautiful.” “Had to, you were twice my size.” Tom is not exactly the best at complimenting. I feel like he always says the wrong thing at the wrong time. By wrong, I mean insulting.
J: At least he’s trying to help her out by drinking the wine.
9:48
K: “I stood beside you when you were poor and blind and knocked me up twice.” She would add the kids in. Remember how last season the flashbacks showed her slapping the doctor for announcing her pregnancy? But that is very true, they’ve been through a lot together.
Haha.
9:49
J: Angie has a gun in her drawer, and she’s letting Danny use it if necessary. “Aim for the head, not the legs.” What kind of trouble are they expecting?
K: What did she do?
The aim for the head comment shows just how cold Angie is. Most people with at least half a heart have no desire to blow someone’s brains out – unless they have such a big secret it must be protected at all costs. I wonder what it could be – they’ve had just about every other crime imaginable. Although she was on the Sopranos, maybe its mob related? They haven’t had a gang or mob story line yet.
J: Maybe they’re spies or something.
K: Oh that would be so cool! Like Witness Protection maybe?
9:51
J: Tom is smashed.
K: He plays an excellent drunk, albeit an extremely annoying one.
J: On TV, he was funny. If he was at my party, he would be annoying.
9:57
K: Hmm, maybe it was Katherine? Mike, you are the sweetest ever. “Like I said, for better or for worse.” Marry me right now? Kay thanks.
J: Mike, you’re so adorable when you help your distressed wife.
9:59
K: Oh Gaby, you did not pull out those pictures. Besides, how did you even get those pictures? Did you just walk into the mall with your underage lover and slip into a photo booth?
J: No, Gaby, no! Don’t think about him! Forget about your ex-lover.
10:00
J: The new people’s house was TRASHED. At least Susan was nice enough to help clean it up after destroying their reputation.
K: I’m sensing a new friendship. That is so great of Susan. And I cannot believe this. John and Gaby are kissing. I’m guessing that John is just dating Ana to get close to Gaby. And it is also illegal (I just wanted to mention that one). This is reminding me of season 1. Hopefully Carlos doesn’t get arrested as a result of it again.
Predictions for next week
K: John is dating Ana to get closer to Gaby again. And she didn’t initiate it, he kissed her. At least that’s what it looked like in the preview.
J: I don’t want her going back to him. I’d have to watch the preview again, but I think you’re right.
K: They’re going to guess about Lynette’s pregnancy.
J: I think she’ll still get to keep her job though.
K: I don’t understand why she’s showing her new assets off if she’s trying to hide the pregnancy.
K: What happened to Katherine this episode? I didn’t get an opportunity to complain about her!
J: Honestly, I didn’t miss her at all.
K: Well, Katherine, I hope you were looking in when Mike was comforting Susan.
Kate Froehlich can be reached for comment at [email protected].
Jenny Hottle can be reached for comment at [email protected].