For all those who wish they lived on Wisteria Lane, we sympathize, but we offer the next best thing to joining the cast. We will be providing commentary on every episode this season, and we’re always open for comments, predications, complaints, connections to Mike Delfino, etc. Jenny can be reached for comment at [email protected] and Kate can be reached at [email protected].
Episode 2: Being Alive
9:03 PM
K: Why is there a line around Julie’s neck? If she was choked, shouldn’t it be bruised? And Karen and her lover, Wisteria’s hot new couple. A little old, but still glad that crusty old lady finally found love.
J: Awww Mrs. McClusky has a crush!
Ewww Mrs. McClusky! Old people hook-ups are really, really weird.
But they love each other… too bad their special moment had to get ruined by the discovery of a body.
9:04 PM
K: Can Susan and Mike get any cuter? “Did you go to sleep with a breath mint in your mouth?” That is such a Bree thing to do.
J: I officially love Susan and Mike! see above.
9:05 PM
K: I love love love MJ. “I want to play in here!” And Susan, you’re making me tear up. So cute. And that’s what I picture when I picture your perfect life, minus the scream.
J: MJ is so adorable … This scene was so perfect you had to have known it would be ruined in some way (the scream).
9:06 PM
K: Ladies, take notes. Gabby is giving romantic advice. Anna is going to run this town with her help. Carlos, you made my day… “I rented a yacht! I lost the deposit!” So basically, I am now going to ignore guys until they are my “slaves.” Let’s see how well it works out.
J: “After that, he was my slave.” Gabby is now my favorite housewife.
9:09 PM
K: Okay, so the New Yawk accent is getting old. I’m not feeling it. But she seems really close to her son- somewhat like Susan and Julie are (were) now. And will go to any lengths to protect him. This is going to cause problem- calling it
J: I’m not liking this family at all. Parents are way too protective…but why? And agreed – not liking the accent.
9:10 PM
J : Lynette’s kids are getting suspicious. Come on, hon, you can’t hide a pregnancy from your teenage sons.
9:12 PM
K: Katherine you’re done. I do not want to hear this. Mike is over you. Sorry. Leave Wisteria right now. Just a warning- I really really hate Katherine.
J: I KNEW Katherine wasn’t gone yet … but when is she going to get the memo that no one likes her?
“And it’s not as if it’s going to last.” Katherine, what are you up to??? Please just leave before you destroy the perfect, happy couple!
9:13 PM
K: Tear jerking moment. Poor Julie and Susan! Will this come between Mike and Susan like the car accident did during the 5 year break? And Mr. McClusky always seems to know what is going on behind the scenes. Fans may remember from last season, how she knew that Dave was up to no good and no one believed her. Let’s see if she acts based on that stare at Danny.
J: Leave it to Mrs. McClusky to find a prime suspect! She was right last season with Dave, and I want to agree with her on Danny. But DH is known for its plot twists, so Danny can’t be guilty … or can he?
9:17 PM
K: I like how the men are getting kind of a role here. Normally the women meet the neighbors and form relationships, they’re the ones solving the mysteries behind the new family. However, Carlos and Tom taking the lead is an interesting concept.
J: Everyone but the new neighbors are at the crime scene – good observation Carlos!
The show is called Desperate HouseWIVES, but it’s nice to see that the men are playing bigger parts this season.
9:18 PM
J: Do the new parents really wonder what happened, or do they all know what’s going on?
9:19 PM
K: Mrs. McClusky does stir up trouble but she normally acts on the right impulse. I hope she says something to the police. Please.
J: She’s got to tell the police! Come on, Mrs. McClusky, do the right thing!
“You don’t have to do it alone, I’m going to be right here with you.” Mrs. McClusky’s boyfriend might not know how to directly tell her he loves her, but he sure knows how to say he cares.
9:20 PM
K: “If you got hit by a bus, I’d really miss you.” You are super romantic Mrs. McClusky’s boyfriend.
J: Aww, come on old man, tell her you love her!
9:21 PM
J: Yay he said it!
9:21 PM
K: JULIE’S PREGNANT AND DIDN’T TELL SUSAN!
J: WHOA WHAT!?!? Where did that come from?
K: She did look a little chunkier last week. Or maybe my mind’s playing tricks. But why does Lynette know? Maybe they met last week at the doctor’s office after Lynette was done traumatizing that soon to be mother? Who’s the father? So many questions – maybe its Danny? Although they just met as far as we know. However, the show’s timeline might be a little off. Is it that professor she was dating last season? Please no…
J: I don’t think it was the professor…then again, the DH creators like to pull characters from the past.
9:26 PM
K: I love this “neighborhood watch.” They’re really intimidating… false. Maybe after being so friendly with Dave last season, they’re worried about another murder in the neighborhood. Because not to blame the men, but they formed a band with Dave and assimilated him into the neighborhood pretty well. And look how well that turned out. Although it did bring Mike and Susan together…
J: The men mean well, but like Kate said, they didn’t see anything sketchy about Dave.
Even though the new parents are acting like they have no idea what’s going on, they sure sound like they have a secret. Bringing a meal to the parents of Julie doesn’t make them look like they’re trying to cheer the family – it makes them look guilty.
9:27 PM
K: Katherine, you are a bucket of crazy. I love Mike’s awkward attempt out of the hug. Oh, back off Katherine.
J: Noooo she’s back!! “I saw you drive in.” Stalker much? At least we know from the hug that Mike is NOT interested in Katherine, and she won’t be destroying our favorite couple’s relationship (at least, not yet). Too bad Katherine won’t take the hint that no one wants her there.
9:28 PM
K: “Can I borrow your mace? My tax dollars pay for it, I should be able to use it! How about a taser, you guys must carry a taser! You know why kids are like this now, because you don’t let us hit them!” Gabby. You need to work on your parenting skills. And we know that Gabby’s going to win this battle of wills.
J: I love Gabby’s comments! They provide great comic relief, easing the dramatic tension. And I love how innocent she is, unaware of her daughter’s sneaking out at night.
K: Half way point- I think a general consensus is that Danny and Ana got smashed and attacked Julie. But as we know, nothing is ever how it seems in this show. I still think Katherine might be behind it.
J: I admit I went back and watched the clip of the attack from last week … and I still have no idea! The attacker looked like a male, but you never know. I’m leaning towards Katherine, even though the Danny-Julie argument beforehand seems to point to Danny as the attacker.
9:31 PM
K: Perfect Desperate timing. Will Julie tell? I hope not, I love this Karl and Bree drama. See predictions above about how this sordid love affair is ending.
J: I’m glad to know that Karl cares more about making sure his daughter’s okay than being with Bree. I’m starting to like him more, although I can’t say the same about his relationship with Bree. Still, I hope Julie doesn’t tell because I don’t want this drama to interfere with Mike and Susan’s already rocky relationship.
9:36 PM
K: No baby, but I bet the partner is Danny. Was Lynette right or wrong for not telling Susan? Tough call…
J: It’s not the best thing to get involved in other people’s businesses, but Lynette had to in order to keep the (possible) baby safe. Not telling Susan right away is a different story…not sure how I would feel if I was Susan (or Lynette!).
I wonder if Lynette does know who the father would have been. Could be Danny– he seems to be pretty popular with the young women of Wisteria Lane.
9:37 PM
K: I remember that guy from last season! Ana is smart lying about how she’s getting out to try and get Gabby away from the real way. And Gabby’s going to provide the comic relief this year- I feel like everyone else has much more serious story lines.
J: Maybe that’s why I like Gabby – she’s funny and has a less dramatic life than everyone else at the moment. The rest of the Housewives are dealing with affairs, physical attacks, unplanned pregnancies, friend problems, etc., while Gabby is dealing with a rebellious teenager.
Ooo Ana you are good! She’s determined to beat Gabby, but will she succeed?
9:39 PM
K: Wow Ana, Gabby is thinner than you. Calm down.
J: “Pull back on the carbs and try again in two weeks.” Ouch, Ana.
9:40 PM
K: “Aiding and abetting. This is your solution about how to get a guy?” I think we should all follow Gabby’s earlier advice. Ladies, crime is not the way to a man’s heart. Let’s put it in the advice column.
9:48 PM
K: So we know how Susan really feels about people dating her exes. I’d be more upset about someone dating Mike, aka love of mine and Jenny’s lives.
J: Bree, why are you so against Susan’s rule? Maybe because you’re hiding something from her.
Oh how I loved the look on Bree’s face after Susan said that no one in her right mind would fall for Karl.
And I agree with you Kate, I would be much angrier if I knew someone was dating Mike. But that’s a bit of a biased remark.
9:49 PM
J: I’m not going to say anything else about Katherine. I’m not going to say anything else about Katherine. I’m not going to…would she please leave Wisteria Lane?! Who does she think she is, trying to destroy everyone’s lives? She really has some severe issues, making up rumors. Note to Katherine: it’s not working!
9:50PM
K: Lynette getting an abortion? That would be a new social issue not yet used on the show. Cherry’s getting creative.
J: Don’t do it Lynette!! Susan’s going to talk her out of it…I know it.
9:50 PM
K: Susan “I would do everything I could, give everything I can for just one more day as Julie’s mom.” Give me a second to give my mother a hug…
J: Awwwwww. Makes me appreciate my mom and what she does for me.
9:56 PM
K: I think Karl wants to actually talk. Maybe he wants a relationship instead of just sex. Someone is growing up… at age 40 something.
J: Glad to know there’s more to Karl than his desire
9:57 PM
K: I love Gabby’s hair tonight. Ridiculously cute. And Mrs. Mc Clusky would just show up. Calling it- she’s going to get killed this season. It is bound to happen.
J: It’s always so perfect! Nooo don’t say that Mrs. McClusky is going to get killed off! Like I said before, I heard that none of the Housewives are going to get killed off (according to Entertainment Weekly, anyway!).
9:59 PM
K: The new family seems pretty skilled at covering up. Obviously. Welcome to every family on Wisteria.
J: You said it.
Froehlich can be reached at [email protected]
Hottle can be reached at [email protected]