Episode 5: Everybody Ought to have a Maid
It’s judgment day on Desperate Housewives…
From Bree to a maid to Susan to Katherine, everyone is being judged for their actions, or lack thereof.
Bree
As Bree and Karl continued their affair in their motel room (which Bree is getting quite fond of), they get caught – by the maid, who passes her own judgment with a single look. That maid has the moral compass that Bree used to have, but Bree takes the look to heart. She returns the next day to try and prove her innocence to the maid – while also helping her make the bed. Bree is once again pushing that view she has of herself that she wants everyone else to believe, that perfect self image that she hopes to portray. The maid sees right through it and tells Bree about her own affair. The maid just “wanted to have a little fun” and wound up losing her husband and her boyfriend, leaving her to clean rooms for a living. Cute. The maid tells Bree, “Enjoy it while it lasts. It didn’t last long for me.” A little Cherry foreshadowing? We think so. This will not end well for Bree and Karl.
Bree then admits something that shocked us – she feels guilty “all the time.” When she goes home to Orson, Bree says she wants him to “stop loving me, I’m not worth it anymore.” Will this guilt be enough to sway her back to Orson? Common sense would say yes, but at the end of the episode, Bree, who sat staring at a Bible in the motel drawer, closes the drawer to sacrifice her emotions for instant gratification with Karl. Anyone remember how religious Bree used to be? It seems like her little love affair has changed that.
Gaby
The most entertaining storyline by far. We love Gaby as a mother with a runway model’s perspective on life. Juanita has a friend over, and they slide down the stairs in a suitcase. Both get a little shaken up, but not seriously injured. The girl’s mother comes and accuses Gaby of being an awful mother because she isn’t paying attention to the children. Seriously, this lady needs to calm down first of all. No one got hurt, although it is true that Gaby is slightly lax on the “children watching” scale. Remember how she called her children “the spawn of Satan” last week? So Gaby and the mother exchange some not so nice words, and as word gets around Wisteria, all of the parents call to say they will not let their children attend Juanita’s birthday party. Gaby tells Carlos to “just shut up and fork over some cash,” to pay for changes to the party. Typical Gaby comment, as she sets out to make Juanita’s party the greatest ever. She decides to play a little politics of her own, must have learned from that short lived affair with Viktor a few seasons back! Gaby goes to the playground, around a bunch of the mothers and their children, and talks about the great things that will be at Juanita’s party, from a clown to a moon bounce, even a monkey. Really, why have our childhoods not included a monkey? So jealous. Hello, 18th birthday parties!
So all of the children come to the party. Juanita mopes because the monkey is getting put away because he’s “tired.” Gaby doesn’t go for it, and harasses the monkey trainer, telling him to give the monkey “some banana flavored coffee.” As usual, Gaby wins out in the end, and the monkey stays. However, we find that monkeys apparently really, really need sleep. Someone call Jane Goodall. A wild stampede of screaming children inform Gaby that the “monkey is killing the clown!” to quote Susan’s precious son MJ. The monkey trainer needs a tranquilizer gun to control the animal. As Gaby explained to the parents, “It’s not my fault they sent us a homicidal monkey. But the important thing is the kids had a good time and created life long memories.” Lifelong traumatizing memories. Hey, at least it is something to talk about! Maybe having a monkey at our birthday parties is not the best idea.
Later that night, Gaby shares her concerns about her ability as a mother with Carlos, who tells her that their children have grown up to be “independent and resourceful thanks to your negligence!” Slightly backhanded but so true – Juanita zipped herself up in the bouncy tent and Celia played dead when the monkey attacked earlier that day. Gaby did pretty much raise herself as a child, so she’s going to naturally instill those values in her children.
Who was missing this episode? We didn’t see anything of Ana, thank God. We’re already sick of her rebellious side. I would say she’s out partying with Danny again, but he really doesn’t seem interested in her.
Lynette
Mrs. McCluskey stopped by the Scavo residence and asked Lynette if she could hire her boyfriend, Roy, to do miscellaneous jobs around the house. The elderly woman tells Lynette, “You’ll never know what you’ve done for my sex life,” when she agrees to hire Roy. Thanks for that, Mrs. McCluskey. Gross. Anyway, Roy came to the house and started to repair broken drawers, hang birdhouses, build flowerboxes…The only problem is, Roy ignored all of Lynette’s requests and instead asked Tom how he would like the job to be done. This old-fashioned view that the man is the ruler of the house is ridiculous. Besides, we all know that Lynette wears the pants in this house, which she demonstrated when she fired Roy.
This plotline seemed kind of pointless tonight. We do have to admit, though, that Tom was pretty sweet. He explained to Roy later that Lynette felt the need to control everything because she’s afraid of losing all that she had worked so hard for in life. Tom let her control him so that she could feel safe and secure. Aww, so there’s still one happy family on Wisteria Lane. Still, we found ourselves drifting off while watching Lynette’s scenes. There’s not much drama happening with her right now — isn’t the show supposed to be about the dramatic lives of housewives? Maybe something more exciting will happen in the Scavo household next week.
Susan/Katherine
Gaby might have had the most entertaining story this episode, but we still look forward to the Susan-Katherine drama every week. Their story definitely did not disappoint, as it had many hilarious comments coming from both women, as well as other characters.
After Julie’s strangling, the men and women of Wisteria Lane decided to form a neighborhood watch, which we know isn’t going to be very effective. Susan uses the first meeting as an opportunity to make out with Mike in front of an envious Katherine. “I don’t think she saw that one. Wanna do it again?” Mike asked, being the supportive husband he is. Susan picked volunteers for various shifts, ignoring Katherine’s obnoxiously waving hand. Susan saw you, Katherine. When are you going to figure out that Susan would rather have Erma (whose “son is in a nursing home!”) be on the lookout for crazy people than you, who are obviously one of those crazy people?
And then there was the gun scene we had been anticipating. Susan and Julie heard a noise and then saw a shadow creeping outside their front door. Julie grabbed a gun that Danny gave her earlier, and she handed it to her mother. Susan accidentally set the gun off, and of course it hit…Katherine. Everyone on the street found out almost instantly, coming to Katherine’s aid. This left us wondering, why doesn’t anyone seem concerned with what Katherine was doing outside the Delfino residence in the middle of the night? We did kind of feel guilty that we were excited because someone got shot, but then we remembered that the victim was Katherine. And anyway, she didn’t die- the bullet barely brushed by her shoulder.
Back to the gun itself…Angie found out that Danny gave the gun to Julie. She freaked out, and she said that the gun was under their real name. If the police got hold of the gun, the family’s identity would be revealed. So what is a distressed mother to do? Go to Katherine, feed her ego and tell her that Mike is totally into her, and explain that it’s not worth calling the police. Wow. What a woman will do to protect her family. If we weren’t so annoyed with Katherine, who honestly thinks she still has a chance with Mike, we’d be wondering what that new family is hiding and it better be good.
Predictions for next week:
So it looks like a cat fight between Susan and Katherine…Susan better win. I want to reiterate the fact that Marc Cherry will lose devoted fans if Katherine comes out on top of this one.
What are Gaby and Carlos fighting about? Not in this episode, but in the last one, Carlos showed some interest in Lynette’s new body. It’s random, but it’s a possibility.
And finally, Karl is going to propose to Bree. We’re split about this one. We don’t have any predictions about Bree’s response, but Kate wants them to get married because they’re so cute together. Jenny wants it to end because she thinks that he’s just going to leave her again for the next desperate female client he comes across. Who’s next– Katherine? He’s already been through Susan, Edie, and Bree. Although, actually, this would be the perfect way to get Katherine away from the magical relationship that is Mike and Susan.
Kate Froehlich can be reached for comments at [email protected]
Jenny Hottle can be reached for comments at [email protected]