Episode 7: Careful the Things You Say

Bree / Angie

Angie invites Bree and Orson over for dinner. The women’s completely opposite personalities are definitely shown tonight. Angie is really relaxed and earthly, while Bree is uptight and “perfect.” Angie is quite the Italian cook, to the point that Dominic suggests that Angie become a potential employer to Bree. Bree, clearly uncomfortable with the proposition, makes up an excuse and says she’s not hiring.

Dominic keeps pushing the idea, and Angie tells him to shut up. They wind up screaming at each other. It’s ironic because Bree is the housewife who hides every negative emotion. This dinner is her worst nightmare. We love the tension.

The preview was misleading last week.  Bree tells Orson to unbutton his pants so they can leave (because Angie said the meal’s not over until the men can’t button their pants).

A couple from the Bronx is considering Bree to cater their 500 person anniversary party.  They’re not impressed with her foie gras, but Bree really wants this job.  To get the party, she lies about her authentic Italian recipes from her grandmother. Your red hair doesn’t say otherwise, Bree.

To get the recipes, Bree tells Angie she wants to cook dinner for a special friend who doesn’t go to restaurants because she’s a burn victim. We assume that Angie gives in because of that burn on her back that makes her extra sensitive to such people.

Why couldn’t Bree just ask her to help out like Dominic had suggested? Bree just wants all the attention and praise for herself. She can neither share the spotlight nor admit her shortcomings.

Angie walks into Bree’s kitchen while she’s looking for the party and finds out the truth. Angie, showing her blunt honesty once again, calls Bree “two face” and “condescending.”

Later, Orson comes in and offers to help, to which Bree screams at him that all she wants is to get out of the marriage. Harsh, but justified. Can he just get over the fact that this relationship is over?

Bree goes to Angie and asks her for help but  Angie just wants to know why Bree doesn’t like her. Bree admits that she’s uncomfortable with her and can’t deal with someone so open and honest. Angie said, “Not everyone’s marriage is as perfect as yours, Nancy Regan.” Bree negates this by saying that she and Orson’s marriage is on the rocks. In the end, Angie agrees to help Bree.

We noticed Karl wasn’t in this episode— hopefully he was off fulfilling his promise to get Bree her divorce

Gaby

Gaby and Juanita’s homeschooling experience is not going so well. Gaby’s method of teaching math, “Say I take Mrs. Doolittle and cop her into thirds. Let’s say I bury 1/3 in the yard, and put 1/3 in the garbage disposal. How much do you have left?”

That’s not the most effective way to get your child to respect you. But hey, at least Juanita’s learning her fractions! We sort of enjoy her way of teaching— it’s very creative.

Gaby tries to convince Carlos to get a tutor instead of a housekeeper, “You’d rather scrub toilets than teach your daughter?” he asks. “At least toilets won’t talk back,” she argues. Carlos kind of has a point though— Gaby did get Juanita kicked out of school, so she should try to be there for her. Too bad their personalities clash.

Gaby assures Juanita that she’s not really going to take her doll. “If I’m going to chop something off, it’s going to be something of Daddy’s!” Carlos really wears the pants in this relationship—he tells Gaby she’s teaching Juanita and she can’t even fight back. We find this ironic because Gaby is normally such a strong character.

Gaby is really trying to teach her daughter. She tries threatening to cut Juanita’s allowance. She can’t even bribe Juanita with ice cream. She, in the presence of the new maid, tells Juanita that she’s going to “end up scrubbing toilets for a living.” Good timing, insulting the woman doing your dirty work. Gaby gets so frustrated that she leaves to get some wine.

When she returns, Juanita has completed all of her math problems correctly. Shocked and disbelieving, Gaby said, “You cheated, didn’t you? Confess!” Gaby has so much confidence in her daughter’ s intelligence.

Ivana, the maid, has a PhD from some place in Europe, but no one in America recognizes it so she’s working as a maid. So Gaby convinces her to teach Juanita. The move already helps Gaby and Juanita’s fading relationship.

But the house is a mess, and, of course, Carlos fires Ivana and hires another maid. He must have realized what Gaby was doing. Gaby goes to beg Ivana to come back. Turns out Carlos’s complaining to the maid company almost got Ivana fired. So Gaby scrubs floors for Ivana so the maid can tutor Juanita. Gaby is the only woman in the world who cleans floors in heels.

Carlos comes home early one day and finds out about the tutor.  Gaby breaks down because she’s so upset that her relationship with Juanita is so screwed up. She says she can teach Juanita how to put on makeup, get boys to like her, and how to dress. Gaby may be dumb as a rock when it comes to school, but at least she still cares about providing her daughter with a useful education.

Ana hasn’t been on the show in two weeks. Did she move out or something.

Lynette

Lynette is about to knock on Susan’s door when she hears shouting coming from inside the house.  Dominic walks out, and Lynette sees Julie wiping tears from her eyes.  Lynette pushes Julie to tell her what happened, and then she immediately wishes she didn’t ask.  Turns out, Julie was having an affair with Dominic.

Julie met Dominic while tutoring Danny.  They ran into each other at a café and started talking, which eventually would lead to a scandalous relationship between the two of them.

Soon after finding out she might be pregnant, Julie wrote Dominic a letter, informing him of the news and also telling him she wanted to stop seeing him.  “Unfortunately for Julie, some men can’t take no for an answer,” the omniscient narrator Mary Alice said. The next scene is of Dominic trying to win Julie back.  Julie, whom we’re personally not too fond of, lets Dominic back into her house so they can “talk.”  Lynette to the rescue!

“Why not lie?” Lynette asks, clearly shocked when Julie tells her.  “I’m late for work—I would have bought anything!”  But she quickly forgets about her job when she sees just how distraught Julie is.  Julie can’t make herself get over Dominic because she still loves him, and he claims that he loves her to.

Julie begs Lynette not to tell Susan, and this upsets Lynette—it’s not the first time Julie has confided in Lynette.  Susan wouldn’t be too happy to find out that her daughter is hiding yet another secret from her, but Lynette tells Julie that her secret’s safe from Susan.

On her way home, Lynette stops by the Bolen residents and informs Dominic that if he doesn’t stop bothering Julie, she’ll tell Karl the whole story.  Dominic swears that Julie did all the pursuing in the relationship, but he’s so nervous about being exposed that he threatens Lynette, telling her she better not say anything.

Lynette immediately goes home and tells Tom she think she knows who strangled Julie.  They talk to Julie, but she honestly doesn’t believe Dominic would do such a thing.  Because they have nothing better to do—seriously, when are they going to get some real drama of their own?—they go to the police and tell about the affair.

Susan/Katherine

Meanwhile, Susan and Mike go to the police with their own lead.  They tell the detectives working on Julie’s case to investigate Katherine.  The detectives burst out laughing, saying that women don’t commit crimes like this.  Mike admits that she is a legitimate suspect because Katherine hates Susan.  Susan tries to explain that maybe Katherine thought that the person walking out of the house was Susan and not Julie.  The detectives’ only comment: “She mistook you for a 23-year-old?”

Insulted and desperately trying to find someone to listen to her, Susan shouts to the whole office, “Is there anyone here that thinks a woman can be a psycho-killer!”  One detective, Denise, looks up and she says that she can help Susan.  Susan doesn’t recognize her, but apparently she and Denise go way back to high school.  Denise reminds her that Susan, the more popular one, told people that Denise laughed like a moose.  To make things even better, Susan also stole Denise’s boyfriend.

Embarrassed at recalling these memories, Susan apologizes before sending the investigator over to Katherine’s house for questioning.  Well, Denise hasn’t quite forgiven Susan, and she’s still out for blood.  It’s not until Susan watches Denise and Katherine hug goodbye that she realizes the two were likely having “a meeting of the I Hate Susan Club.”  We’re thinking that the two women ate Ben and Jerry’s while crying over how much they despise Susan for being a man stealer.

During their little get-together, Katherine apparently told Denise that Susan shot her.  Payback time!  This is all the information Denise needs to throw Susan in jail—probably the revenge she’s been dying to get after all these years.  We hoped Mike would come save Susan, but unfortunately the show ended with poor Susan still locked up.

Predictions for next week:

Next week is an episode of secrets being revealed—likely leading to more questions. Lynette reveals her pregnancy. Why is Gaby bribing a priest now?

We’re super excited for Susan to appear in court. We’re expecting a cat fight. Watch Susan have stolen the judge’s boyfriend too. She’s done it enough times. Katherine should get kicked out of court just for being crazy.  As for the court case itself, Susan was defending herself from what she believed to be an intruder.  How was she supposed to know it was actually Katherine sneaking around and not a robber?

Rumors are going around on our spoiler sites that say a Wisteria youth is going to have his or her stomach pumped. It’s apparently not who we would expect—maybe Julie or one of Lynette’s older sons? The obvious one would be Danny.

Froehlich can be reached for comment at [email protected]

Hottle can be reached for comment at [email protected]