Episode 15: Lovely

From ABC: Susan invites Robin into her home; Bree tries to entice Orson; Gaby looks for help with Ana.

Bree puts Orson to bed and he says good night to her. Aw! Is he ready to forgive her for her little affair?

Bree walks into the kitchen to prepare for a Bar Mitzvah when Robin comes in, hoping to make a cake for Mike and Susan to thank them for taking her in. When Bree asks Robin what she knows about cakes, Robin says, “I know that if you’re going to be hiding in one for more than an hour, then the air holes have got to be pretty big.” It’s slightly out of character for Bree to be so nonjudgmental and offer to help Robin. Robin is thrilled, telling Bree, “You’re my hero!” She pulls out her cell phone and takes a picture of Bree for her screensaver. Okay…. Bree’s not quite that heroic. Besides, wasn’t Susan Robin’s hero last week?

After the cake is finished, Robin and Bree talk about Bree’s marital problems. Robin’s advice is to seduce Orson because, apparently, the only way to restore the intimacy that Bree and Orson once had is by sexual means.

Bree takes this into consideration and, coming home from the Bar Mitzvah, starts to try to seduce Orson in the living room. To classical music.  As she awkwardly approaches him, Orson says, “Well, if you’re having a stroke, we’ll make quite the team.” Bree gets stuck in her shirt and falls to the ground. When Orson presses her to find out what the heck was going on, Bree admits that she just wants to be close to him again. So Orson takes her on his lap and they listen to classical music together. This couple is growing on us again.

Gaby

Gaby is still uneasy about the Danny-Ana relationship, so she comes up with a new plan.  She contacts her former photographer and gets Ana a modeling contract.  Ana doesn’t want to go because she already has a plan to escape to New York with Danny after they graduate.

Gaby and Susan are having a drink with Robin when Gaby has another idea.  Robin tells them an emotional story about how she gave up her dreams of being a professional dancer to be with a boy, only to have the boy break up with her shortly after she made the decision.  She got into an accident and couldn’t dance anymore, so she became an exotic dancer .  Gaby is inspired by the story and asks her to tell it to Ana because she thinks Ana will listen to Robin.

Gaby’s plan works, and Ana breaks up with Danny and leaves for New York.  But, Robin finds out she was used to break them up.  “I don’t like being used,” she tells Gaby. Robin goes to the Bolen house to talk to Danny about what happened.  The last scene we see in this storyline is taxicab pull up to Danny’s house—headed to New York, maybe?

Lynette

Tom asks Lynette to move a pile of dirty laundry, and she gives him an “are you serious?” stare back.  To this,  Froehlich’s mother says, “Can I kill him?  Can I go through the TV and kill him?”  Rolling her eyes, Lynette picks up the pile.  Underneath, she finds a small box, containing a beautiful ring from Tom to celebrate their anniversary.  Aw!  Lynette tells him his gift will be waiting for him in bed later that night, and Tom is overjoyed.  The couple is interrupted when four of Parker’s friends run into the house and go upstairs.

After a few minutes, Lynette realizes that the house is awfully quiet for a group of teenage boys.  She walks into Parker’s room to check out the situation and finds the all of boys staring out the window.  They scatter when she walks over to the window to see what’s going on outside.  Turns out, they were watching Robin take a shower.

Wanting to protect the last of her child’s innocence, Lynette goes next door and tells Robin to close the drapes the next time she takes a shower.  Robin says she will, and she then tells Lynette that Parker  offered her cash to sleep with him .  Shocked and a little disturbed, Lynette leaves and goes home to talk to Tom.

When Parker comes home from school later that day, Lynette and Tom are waiting for him to have a talk.  He explains that he is the last virgin in his circle of friends .  Tom says to Parker,  “Here’s 20 bucks to go back and try again.”  Lynette swipes the 20 out of Parker’s hands and says, “First of all, we’ve seen your friends.  And Pimples, Braces, and Beam Me Up Scotty aren’t gettin’ any!”

Tom casually mentions that somehow, all men end up paying for intercourse , whether it’s by making dinner or buying their significant other a new piece of jewelry.  Lynette changes her mind about her “gift” to Tom.  That night, Tom realizes that it means more to women to have a man care about them than to get expensive gifts.

The next morning, Lynette apologizes to Robin.

Susan

Susan brings Robin to a neighborhood party. Of course, of the men are all over her. On a side note, Robin really isn’t that pretty. She looks pretty old, although maybe that’s just because we watched it in HD.

The Wisteria women confront Susan about bringing Robin into the neighborhood. However, Katherine, the only woman not upset over Robin’s presence, speaks the truest words: “I’ll tell you one thing, she can’t bring anymore crazy to this street than I did.” Oh Katherine. No one can upstage you as literally the most insane woman to ever live on Wisteria. Although Betty Applewhite in season 2 could give you a run for your money.

Mike comes home from fixing plumbing all day with a super sore back and Robin offers to crack it. She’s quite the miracle worker, although Mike looks super uncomfortable when she puts her arms around him to crack his back. He’s probably afraid that Susan’s going to take him down.

When Susan comes home, a half dressed Robin is walking on Mike’s back. When Susan goes into the other room, she hears strange noises and rushes back to see Robin stretching out Mike’s legs. Nothing is going on between Robin and Mike, but Susan is (rightfully) suspicious. However, we all know that Mike would never jeopardize his relationship with Susan.

Next time Mike comes home with a sore back, Susan, who was leaving to feed the hungry, offers to help crack it. Mike winds up in the hospital with a neck brace. Typical Susan. She is so clumsy. Susan confronts Robin about how uncomfortable she is with Robin around Mike, citing Robin’s past as the key reason. Robin’s comments hit Susan hard though: “Yes, I was a stripper. You were the only person that never treated me like one until now.” Robin, having worked in the club for so long, doesn’t really know where to draw the line with men, although she means no harm. Even though Susan apologizes, Robin decides that she needs to move out because she wants to preserve their friendship.

Of course, the always precious M.J. comes into the scene after visiting Mike in the other room and tells the women, “Daddy needs help making the bed go down!” Seriously, Marc Cherry, please give this child some more lines.

Katherine

Robin stops by Katherine’s house and asks how she’s doing, thinking she must be lonely living by herself.  Katherine admits that she’s always wondering what the neighbors are thinking about her.  Robin consoles her, saying, “No one judges the woman from the loony bin when there’s a stripper next door!”  Both women laugh, and then Robin suggests the idea of becoming roommates.

Robin moves in to Katherine’s house. While she’s unpacking, she tells Katherine about growing up in a broken home with an alcoholic mom who abused her.  After hearing this depressing story, Katherine suggests they have a girls’ night out at a local bar.

We’re not sure if Katherine just has poor taste in men or if being in the mental hospital clouded her judgment, but she is thrilled when a nerdy creepster comes up to her and Robin and asks them to sit with him and his friend.  Robin turns the man down, telling him that it is a girls’ night, but Katherine begs Robin to go over to his table.

The two men completely ignore Katherine to hit on Robin and Robin is frustrated.  She stands up, points this out to the two men, and then says if they won’t take Katherine, she’ll keep her. To make her point clear, she plants a big one.  Right on Katherine’s lips.  Ew!

At home, the women are laughing about what happened at the bar. “I think it’s time for me to give up on men,” Katherine says.  Robin says not to give up dating altogether and that she should try barking up a different tree.  Seeing the confusion on Katherine’s face, she clarifies what she meant: “date chicks.”

It turns out that Robin’s a lesbian and might be interested in her new roommate. Katherine, though she doesn’t say anything that would leave us to believe she’s interested, shows a hint of intrigue in her eyes.  Well, as long as she stays away from Mike…

Robin

Mrs. McClusky talks to Robin to make sure she is being accepted in the neighborhood. She admits her life of scandal — Mrs. McClusky apparently did some inappropriate  modeling back in her day. Give us a second to stop gagging.

Robin replies that in the gentleman’s club, “no one ever really saw me.” However, “When I first got here, I thought it was going to be the same thing, but I have a feeling your neighbors look past all of the stuff that people usually look at.”

Apparently, the neighbors do. Mary Alice’s voiceover talks about what Wisteria had learned about Robin: her sense of morality, loyalty, insight, and forgiving nature. Not going to lie, the sense of morality comment is ironic. Oh right, and when the camera pans over Katherine, Mary Alice mentions that at least one of the neighbors has learned about Robin’s “incredible beauty.” Well, at least Katherine is over Mike!

Predictions for next week:

Andrew is finally back! He quit the show this season and is only reappearing as a guest star, but he has been a fantastic character since he and Bree made up over the five year jump.

Robin is putting on quite a show to try and seduce Katherine. And from the looks of the preview, it’s working. Expect some awkward times next week.

Juanita has the chicken pox and Gaby’s getting out of the house. Looks like she’s moving in with BOB AND LEE for a few days. We can’t even lie — our favorite honorary housewife is back!

Lynette and Tom forgot poor Penny’s birthday. They are such wonderful parents. It’s really inspiring.

Angie wasn’t in this episode, so we’re wondering if next week, we’ll learn a little more about her back story.  Or, more importantly, will Gaby and Carlos figure it out? We’re going to guess yes.

Danny’s definitely in New York with Ana. We guess that Gaby is going to find out soon enough and not be so pleased.  What will Angie say when she sees that her son is missing?

Kate Froehlich cna be reached for comment at [email protected]

Jenny Hottle can be reached for comment at [email protected]