Episode 16: The Chase
From ABC: Celia contracts chicken pox; Penny’s birthday is forgotten; Bree hires a new employee; Katherine makes a discovery.
Bree:
Andrew, who is now running Bree’s business while she takes care of Orson, is watching a soap opera on his friend Tad’s phone. Instead of working. Way to be productive Andrew. Bree walks in and is shocked, especially when she hears that someone ordered a lot of flowers. Andrew is basically failing at managing a business, and Bree is not pleased at all with his work. Andrew defends himself, saying that he needs to learn and will make mistakes, so Bree should calm her crazy control freak side. Yeah, you know your mother better than that, Andrew! We also find out that Tad, who is completely incompetent, was hired by Andrew.
Bree gets on the phone with the flower people to figure out what to do with the extras when an attractive guy comes in and professes his adoration for her work and moral values. We can’t help but laugh,it’s just too ironic! Anyway, Sam Allen is the guy’s name and he “wants to learn [Bree’s] business from the ground up and then expand it.” Bree thanks him, but says she has a full staff already. However, as Sam walks out, he gives Bree advice on what to do with the flowers. Impressed, she hires him.
Andrew is furious that Bree made a decision without consulting him. But hey, Andrew, it’s Bree’s company, and she can do whatever she wants. Sam, who happens to be there working late, suggests firing Tad.Sam then says that the only reason Andrew doesn’t want to fire Tad is because he’s sleeping with him…even though Andrew is living with a guy named Alex! When Bree scolds Andrew, he reminds her of her affair with Karl. Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Bree ominously tells Andrew that she can fire anyone she wants to.
Sam talks to Bree about Andrew feeling “entitled” to everything his mother has worked so hard to build. He convinces Bree that he can handle her work for the day so she can go figure out the Andrew situation. When Bree tries to apologize for everything he heard yesterday, Sam says that “driven, successful people like you have complicated lives, but the specifics are none of my business.” Sam is extremely charming and it’s obvious that Bree is falling right into his trap. As Bree leaves, Sam picks up a “world’s greatest son” mug that’s lying on the coffee table. Sam is obviously gunning for Andrew’s position, but why did he choose this job to target?
Gaby:
One morning, Juanita decides that she needs three dozen cookies made that day for school. She also complains about not having any meat with her breakfast. No offense, but the last thing Juanita needs is more bacon. As Gaby is about to blow up, Celia comes downstairs with chicken pox spots all over her face. Gaby’s response is “Oh no no no I don’t have time for sick kids!” When she admits that she’s never had chicken pox, Carlos tells her to leave. Which she does of course.
Gaby is staying with BOB AND LEE! Their life is rather like her life was pre-kids, complete with “pre-dinner cosmos” after Gaby wakes up from an afternoon nap. Basically, it’s Gaby’s version of heaven on Earth. She downs her cosmo, and Lee says, “Somebody’s glass is empty. That’s also something that’s forbidden inside these walls.”
Bob, Lee, and Gaby get out of a convertible filled with Bob and Lee’s friends. One calls out to her “don’t forget to friend us!” to which Gaby wishes him luck on his pec implants. Lee offers to throw Gaby a party, saying “I have mini quiches in the freezer and 10 homos on speed dial.” Sounds like a great party. Gaby clearly loves the family-less life. Then she gets a call from Carlos and finds out that Celia is no longer contagious. Bob and Lee expect Gaby to be thrilled, but she says, “I have tasted freedom and I’m not willing to give it up.” So Gaby formulates a plan to pretend that she has a stomach virus. She tells Carlos “The doctor says it’s a 24 hour thing,” and changes it to 36 hours after Lee reminds her, “Don’t forget about the hangover!”
Juanita calls, and Gaby walks upstairs, away from the noise of a raging party, into a room with a sign saying “Wet Paint.” The room is a beautiful, colorful nursery—Bob and Lee want to adopt a child! Bob comes in and explains that he and Lee went to Ohio, were set to adopt a little girl, and then the mother changed her mind. At first, Gaby is shocked that they could want children because it would ruin their party life, but Bob says, “You may envy our life Gaby, but it’s nothing compared to how we envy yours.” Gaby goes downstairs to leave, telling Lee that Juanita scored her first goal and wants to tell her about it. Gaby finally recognizes her love for her children above her own selfish interests.
Susan:
Susan, in her usual nosy way, more-or-less forces Roy to propose to Karen during brunch. Roy doesn’t think Karen wants to get married, to which Karen says, “Why don’t you grow a pair and find out?” So he gets down on one knee, proposes, and tells Karen, “Answer! My knee hurts.” Aw, old people getting married! So adorable.
When Susan goes to discuss flowers for the wedding with Karen, Roy stops her and tells her that he is no longer attracted to Karen since the engagement. He makes the comparison to salt: when his doctor said he could no longer eat salt, Roy had a strong desire for more salt. Likewise, now that he’s engaged, Roy wants to kiss other women. Like some old lady in his stretching class. Ew, he’s a little perverted.
Then, Roy kisses Susan, who is obviously grossed out. We probably would have smacked him for that, but Susan sort of deserved it. We’re sort of confused about why Susan is so concerned with otherslove lives. Maybe it’s because she finally has her own love life figured out.
When Susan tells Mike about the kiss, he cracks up. Susan shoots him a perfect death stare and says, “How is your wife being molested funny?” We guess Susan is taking this a little seriously, but she was violated. Besides, as Susan said, “I didn’t know he was some sort of Jurassic gigolo.” She makes the decision to tell Karen about Roy’s cheating thoughts, against Mike’s wishes.
Susan still goes over to Karen’s house and finds her crying on the couch. The doctors found a spot on her lungs, and it might be cancer. MARC CHERRY, DO NOT KILL HER OFF! When Susan walks outside after comforting Karen, she is met by Roy, who informs her that they will be getting married after all. He tells Susan, “After this happened, now I realized the worse thing I could lose is her.” Aw, Roy! You and Karen might replace Mike and Susan as the most adorable Wisteria couple.
Katherine:
This show is approaching x-rated. What we saw at the beginning of tonight’s episode made our moms and us cringe.
Katherine has a dream that Robin is seducing her. We’d rather not go into detail about it—in fact, we probably couldn’t because we had to close our eyes during the scandalous scene. Still, the moans we heard pretty much scarred us for life. At least it was just a dream.
Katherine attends a therapy session to try and figure out what this dream means. Her therapist thinks that Katherine is too fragile right now to think about relationships and suggests that Katherine tell Robin to move somewhere else.
Back at home, Katherine’s dream looks like it’s becoming a reality. Robin spills champagne all over her shirt. Ack, someone stop her before it’s too late! As Robin begins taking off her shirt, Katherine yells at her to stop and informs her that she has to leave right away. Taken aback, Robin goes upstairs and immediately starts packing her bags.
Having experienced heartbreak once before, Katherine changes her mind and decides to tell Robin about her true feelings. “Robin, you haven’t done anything wrong,” she says. “I like you, in fact, too much.” As if that storyline couldn’t get any mushier, Robin admits that she has feelings for her roommate.
Katherine shuts the door, and we cringe as narrator Mary Alice tells us about the art of seduction. Mary Alice says what’s running through Katherine’s mind: “Was I seduced, or was this what I wanted all along?” At the end of the episode, we see Katherine and Robin are lying in bed together. We’re not even going to comment because our thoughts would be unsuitable for publication.
Lynette:
The Scavos are arguing again, this time over baby names. Can you say boring? Tom wants to name the baby Patricia, but Lynette wants to name her Polly. Tom is just as sick as we are of the fighting, so he gives in: “Okay, you get a peg leg and I’ll get an eye patch, and we’ll carry her around on our shoulders.”
Penny walks downstairs and asks where her birthday breakfast is. Oops. Caught up in her pregnancy, Lynette completely forgot (we didn’t expect Tom to remember—he’s kind of an airhead anyway) about the rest of her family. So to make it up for her daughter, Lynette cooks a special birthday dinner and makes a cake. But, she writes “Happy Birthday POLLY” on it and doesn’t notice her error until Penny points it out. Nice one, Lynette.
The next day, Penny doesn’t get off the bus. A neighborhood kid tells Lynette that she ran away. She and Tom immediately head to the police station to report a missing child. When they explain the context of the story, the officer asks, “Are you people involved in narcotics?” She’s reluctant to help the Scavos, but soon finds out Lynette’s credit card had been used at a nearby hotel.
Lynette drives to the hotel and finds Penny. It turns out that Penny doesn’t hate her mom for what happened; she hates the unborn baby. But Lynette tells Penny that she’ll always love her and blah blah blah. The two settle down and order hot fudge sundaes. How presh. Lynette’s storyline, no matter how depressingly sad or pathetic it might be in the beginning, always turns out so heart-meltingly sweet. And we’re sick of it. More drama, please.
Angie:
When is something exciting going to be revealed about the Bolen family? Seriously! Nick finds a letter from Danny that says he went camping with his friend Eddie. Nick could care less, but Angie is obviously distraught, fearing the worst. She knows something is up.
Her suspicions are confirmed when she goes to the grocery store later that day and sees Eddie. Eddie says that Danny decided to go camping by himself, but Angie sees right through his lie. She forces Eddie to tell her where her son is, and he finally admits that Danny went looking for Ana in New York.
New York? Apparently that’s dangerous territory for Bolen family. Angie immediately wants to chase after Danny, but Nick tells her it’s a huge city, so no one will find him. “What if he goes to the old neighborhood?” she asks. “Patrick is not going to find him,” Nick tells her, sparking interest,maybe we’ll finally find out who this Patrick guy is! “He found us the last time,” Angie said. We were let down once again, as nothing further was revealed.
Kate Froehlich can be reached for comment at [email protected]
Jenny Hottle ca be reached for comment at [email protected]