Episode 5 – Let me entertain you

Just what we needed—another new character!  However, it turns out that Emma Graham, whom we’re expected to believe has lived on Wisteria Lane all this time, isn’t all that important to the show (although, who knows?  Maybe she’ll turn out to be a hero or a villain this season.  But I’m still hoping that’s the last we see of her).

Apparently Emma’s always wanted to run a cabaret of which she’s the star so that she can brag to her neighbors that she has a good singing voice.  Sounds like someone’s a bit desperate for attention.

Anyway, it turns out that the only point of the cabaret scene was to set the stage for Gaby and Renee’s over-the-top catfight.

I’ve seen many fights since season one, and sometimes they feel stale, but this week’s was absolutely hilarious.  Both women should’ve known better than to share highly personal secrets after drinking a few bottles of champagne together, but it made for several fantastic scenes throughout the rest of the episode.  Sure, it was terrible for Gaby to announce Renee’s infidelity to her husband, and maybe it wasn’t nice for Renee to let slip to the other housewives that Gaby had gotten a nose job.  But the nose puns by the other housewives—Lynette and Karen especially—were terrific.

At the same housewife gathering, Bree gleefully reveals that she slept with Keith.  Good for them, but I wonder how long this relationship is going to last.  Keith originally seemed turned off by her grandmother status, but now he seems to be completely comfortable with that.  Still, I don’t see this ending in a happy marriage or anything.

Meanwhile, an oversexed 20-something-year-old guy was what Susan expected as she logged on to meet her client.  Too bad for her. It was actually Paul Young, who wasn’t even looking for a “private onscreen interaction.”  He just wanted to blackmail her into selling her house for good.

Paul Young’s appearance was creepy enough, but hopefully it scared Susan out of her new job.  The only other person who knows about her job is Lynette, who wasn’t afraid to show her disappointment toward Susan’s behavior.

With the exception of her scene with Susan in which she lied and told Mike that Susan lent her the missing money, Lynette was rather dull tonight.  I usually love her smart responses.  However, she crossed a fine line and insulted her mother-in-law, Allison, who was kind enough to step in and help around the house.  Not that I like Allison anyway—she’s way too generous in a sketchy way.  To make things even duller and terribly unsatisfying, she and Lynette make up at the end of the episode.  But I guess we can’t have drama in every plotline every episode.

Or can we?  I have to say, while Allison’s sudden case of what looks like dementia was unexpected, stupid and random.  She’s a good actress, but she doesn’t add anything meaningful to the show.  The dementia plotline would be way too depressing to watch week after week—hopefully the writers drop that one.

The Allison-Lynette make-up scene wasn’t the only one of its kind—Gaby and Renee reunite as well.  What is it with Renee’s need to have a blow up with someone before becoming friends?  I don’t see her friendship with Gaby lasting long anyway.  Their personalities are too similar, and there’s only room for one rich diva on the lane.

Jenny Hottle can be reached for comment at [email protected].