Episode 13: I’m Still Here
Attention all residents of Wisteria Lane: someone has officially surpassed Katherine Mayfair in being the most psychotic person on the block. Congratulations Gaby Solis for creeping out even Karen McCluskey.
My mother and I giggled when Mrs. McCluskey agreed to go to the doll academy tea room with Gaby and the Princess Valerie doll, saying, “I’m curious to see where this all goes.” Obviously, she just wanted to see if it was possible for someone to be more of a lunatic than Katherine.
If taking one’s doll to tea doesn’t seem all that crazy, maybe paying $840 for a doll that looks remarkably similar to one’s daughter is enough to send a person to the funny farm.
Everyone has a weird collection, Gaby argued to Carlos after he requested she see a therapist. But Gaby, the thing is, you have one doll. That’s hardly a collection.
The most intriguing part of the episode (or at least of Gaby’s storyline) was when she and Carlos got carjacked. It was so hilarious that I almost felt bad for Gaby for a second. The thief drove off with the doll in the backseat, leaving Gaby screaming hysterically, “He took away my baby!” That right there was when I knew she had officially surpassed Katherine Mayfair’s level of craziness.
By the way, mad props to Carlos for being able to handle this creepy situation with such ease. If I were him, I can guarantee that Gaby would have been sent to the loony bin by now.
Gaby’s plotline, outrageous as it might be, kept me entertained this week. There’s something fun about making predictions with fellow “Housewives” fans about who is going to take Katherine’s spot in the nuthouse.
On a more serious note, I finally felt a bit of compassion toward Susan this week as she continued her battle with her one remaining kidney. I admit I wasn’t expecting much from her as she started off by talking with that annoying woe-is-me voice, but her interaction with Dick, another dialysis patient, made me change my mind.
After another patient found out that he was going to get a new kidney, Susan saw the frustration in Dick’s eyes, realizing that his grumpy attitude was due to a sense of hopelessness. When Dick finally allowed her to comfort him by simply letting her take his hand, my mother and I were touched.
In a bizarre side-plot, Lynette’s mother came back to town just to let Lynette know that she’s getting married. Her fiancé is a total jerk, far from the type of man that I’d ever expect the magic brownie-making woman to marry.
Lynette’s mother initially explained that she was marrying him because he’s wealthy, but then it turned out that he made her feel needed and wanted. Still, that doesn’t detract from his rude behavior. I wanted to punch him in the face when he asked the Hispanic waiter at lunch, “What do I have to do to make you hurry over? Build a fence?”
I sided with Lynette when she told her mother not to marry the jerk. However, her mom is old enough to make her own decisions, so I guess there’s not much Lynette could have done to stop the marriage.
For some inexplicable reason, the show’s writers feel a need to include at least one utterly pointless storyline each episode. This week, I’d like to congratulate Bob, Lee and Renee for achieving such an accomplishment.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Bob and Lee. They’re the funniest couple on the street. However, just because they’re funny doesn’t mean that the writers need to give them lines every episode.
Their adopted daughter arrived—hooray for them. Really, that’s cute, and that’s all we needed to know. I could care less about their brief drama with Renee about hiring another interior designer to paint the little girl’s room.
In the end, Renee got the job anyway, and then the men ended up choosing her as “Aunty Renee.” Okay, great. Did they really need to devote a good five minutes to this?
In other news, we learned that Keith has a son, only he doesn’t know. Well, we should have seen the ex-girlfriend coming all along, right? It only makes sense after Bree’s ex-husband showed up two weeks ago.
Bree really set herself up for trouble when she told the ex-girlfriend, Amber, that Keith wanted to pay child support when in reality, only Bree felt obligated to do so. I have to ask: does she want her relationship to fail? It’s sweet that she cared enough for her and Keith’s child to pay child support, but to not tell him that she’s doing so? What is she thinking?
And then of course we come to the supposed climax of the show, the part where we hope to learn a little bit more about the season’s main mystery. Unfortunately, we didn’t learn anything, except that Paul figured out that his own son shot him.
The only intriguing line I got out of the entire Young story was, “Trust me, Beth, I think you dodged a bullet here,” which Paul said when he cancelled their vacation. I’m pretty sure that means he was going to kill her. Regardless, Beth is still alive and Paul is still fuming about something. Guess we’ll have to wait another two weeks before we find out what that’s all about, as ABC is taking a break next week from airing the next episode.