Movie of the Month: “Spectre” kills expectations

Each month a member of the Patriot Staff picks a movie to review. Read and decide whether or not it is worth seeing for yourself.

Above is the movie poster for "Spectre," which was released on Nov. 6. The scenery was spectacular, but the movie itself was lacking, and overall went on too long.

Above is the movie poster for “Spectre,” which was released on Nov. 6. The scenery was spectacular, but the movie itself was lacking, and overall went on too long.

The movie, “Spectre,” is the latest installment in the James Bond series. The charming Daniel Craig was back in his Armani suits zipping through the streets of Italy in an Aston Martin and throwing himself off of exploding buildings

It is probably my least favorite Bond movie.

The movie is too long. It starts out with Bond attending the Day of the Dead festival in Mexico City to save a town from being destroyed by a mass bomber. No one knows who the bomber is, and it has no relation to the overall storyline whatsoever.

30 minutes into the movie, the bomber is still being chased by Bond, but now, they are punching each other from a helicopter. The opening credits still havn’t been shown, which gives the illusion the film is halfway done. It was nowhere near being done.

What seemed like an hour later, the opening credits rolled, and for the next 5 minutes, I watched a shirtless Daniel Craig  wrapped up inside of an octopus while several dancing women were tragically “shot” from an ink blot by the octopus. It was a long movie inside of another long movie.

The acting itself was bad enough to make me cringe in horror. Bond’s romantic interest Madeleine Swann, played by French actress Léa Seydoux, needs to win an Oscar under the category of “Worst Dramatic Scenes.” When she was captured by her assailants or was mad at Bond, she put no effort whatsoever into convincing the audience that she really needed help or was angry.

My favorite scene was when Swann got drunk and fell asleep in the hotel room because that’s when she stopped talking. I think they call that second-hand embarrassment.

A lot of scenes contained Bond answering questions, walking through dark corners by himself “cautious” of a bullet coming toward his head, and making out with Swann at the most inconvenient times.

However, there were some good elements in the movie. The costumes were beautifully designed and captured each character’s personality, as well as the architecture of Rome, Austria, and Mexico City.

If another Bond movie comes around, I’d like to suggest having a time limit because movie watchers do have lives outside of the theatre.

I’d give this movie a 2 out of 5 stars based solely on the fact that I have a knack for expensive cars and taste in British couture, which are abundantly shown in the movie. Other than that, don’t waste your money.

Azanae Barrow is a Community Editor for The Patriot and jcpatriot.com