As I walk down the hallway, I happen to overhear a conversation between two girls. 

One girl is trying to convince her friend that she loves some band.  Her friend looks at her, confused, and says, “I thought you hated metal.” 

The girl replies, “No.  I never said that.  I just never experienced it before.  John introduced it to me.”

Her friend answers, “Oh, I see.  John likes it.”

“Why are you against me experiencing new music?”accuses the first girl. 

Her friend, of course, denies the statement and changes the subject. 

Her friend’s confusion has merit.  My best friend is the one person that I tell everything to.  She knows my opinions better than I do.  I am 100 percent positive that my friends would notice a sudden change in my opinion, especially ones that directly correlate to a new boyfriend. 

Give your friends some credit.  They do listen to you.  When your views spontaneously change, they will take notice.   

But they don’t want to start a fight.  They don’t want to hurt you, even though you may have hurt them.  The possibility that you will choose your boyfriend over them stops them from starting that conversation.  You fear your boyfriend’s rejection, but they fear you rejecting them. 

Please don’t take your insecurities out on your friends.   If you’re defensive, I bet you’re insecure about your relationship.  You know that you are not just lying to him but also to yourself.  Yet you want him to like you.  You don’t want to be rejected because you don’t have the same interests. 

You alienate your friends, the people who care about the real you, when you make yourself into your boyfriend’s perfect girlfriend.  It frustrates, annoys, and angers your friends.  They respect you, but you are willing to change because your boyfriend gives a slight suggestion.

Who are you trying to fool?  Your friends can obviously tell where your new interest came from.  

If you find it necessary to lie about your tastes, your boyfriend doesn’t respect your opinions.  If your favorite song is “TiK ToK,” your boyfriend will learn to deal with it.  Don’t bury your true feelings; let him know who you are. 

Find pride in yourself.  Your boyfriend should find your differences to be just as appealing as your similarities.  If he can’t, he’s not worth your time. 

Stick with the people who care about you.  You’ll find a guy who likes you for who you are.  High school isn’t your only chance to find love.

Rachel Kokoska can be reached for comment at [email protected]