Drugs have been around since the beginning of time. Due to this there have always been public service announcements, or PSAs. They’re well-intentioned, but most of the messages are so over-the-top that they cannot be taken seriously. Here’s a list of the top 10 dumbest drug PSAs and the messages they send to viewers.
10. The Talking Dog: Where do I begin? It starts off with a girl taking a soda from a fridge, and then her dog starts to talk about smoking weed. If the girl is such a druggie that her dog feels a need to step in, then she would know she shouldn’t listen to her hallucinations. Plus, if she was high when this happened, it would mean that she had a breakthrough when she was stoned. This would mean that this PSA is actually saying “Do drugs. They will tell you when to stop.”
9. Deflated: I think this PSA is trying to say that when you smoke weed, you become someone that you really aren’t. However, instead of telling us that, the commercial just shows us a deflated plastic doll sitting on a couch. There is not much that I can say about this commercial other than it makes no sense and just doesn’t work.
8. This is Your Brain on Drugs: This commercial starts off by showing a skillet, which according to the narrator, is drugs. An egg gets dropped into it and the narrator says, “This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?” You must be pretty high if you’re confusing an egg with a brain. Also, can you please serve my brain with a side of bacon and tater tots?
7. This is Your Brain on Heroin: This PSA is like a spinoff of the last one. It starts off with a woman saying that an egg is a brain on drugs. She then proceeds to smash the entire room to pieces, claiming that it has something to do with heroin. I’ll admit when I saw this as a kid, it scared me. I promise I won’t do heroin—just keep that psycho away from me.
6. I Learned by Watching You: This is probably my favorite PSA. It starts off with the dad bringing a box of what I guess is weed asking the son, “Who taught you to do this?” The son replies, “I learned from watching you.” I think the reason I like this one so much is because I really want to know what the conversation after this was. The dad would say, “So, I taught you,” and the son would reply, “Well, you were high when you did it.”
5. Slomming: This PSA shows a series of interviews about “slomming,” which stands for Sticking Leeches On Myself. I admit the name is a little clever. However, it ends suddenly and says, “Live above the influence.” I guess that this PSA is supposed to say that peer pressure can make you do stupid things, but they forgot about one important detail: PUTTING LEECHES ON YOURSELF DOES NOT MAKE YOU HIGH. It doesn’t make you drunk, it doesn’t make you feel better, it doesn’t make you feel worse. In fact, it does nothing. It just makes this PSA look really dumb.
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are Anti-Drug: This commercial starts with an approximately 10-year-old kid giving a kid approximately sixyearsold candy cigarettes. However, it turns out that they are supposed to represent weed. I guess this PSA has a low budget and could not afford genuine materials. The commercial takes a strange turn when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles teach a class. The turtles say that the kid should either get a pizza or leave. If any cartoon should be telling me not to do drugs, it should not be the teenage mutant ninja turtles. If teenagers eat pizza while speaking in surfer terms, then I would think some illegal substances were definitely being used.
3. Chasing Rainbows: This PSA is weird, simply put. It doesn’t really say drugs are bad, it just shows a guy snorting cocaine and then running around in circles until he disappears into an end credit. It makes no sense. Maybe it’s an inside joke with people who use coke already.
2. Marijuana does not make you more attractive: This PSA also probably had a low budget. It starts off with a crude drawling of a woman and a man who is smoking. An alien comes down from outer space, and the person smoking offers it to the alien. The alien declines, so the woman decides to leave with the alien. When I saw this as a kid, I thought this was hilarious, and I still do.
1. Pee Wee Herman Says Don’t Do Drugs: Before I talk about this PSA, I want to answer your first question: Yes, this is real. It starts off very serious, and then we see Pee Wee Herman, who holds up a small vial of what he says is crack. Where do I begin with this? Have you ever seen his show? That show is complete insanity.. Second of all, the actor who played Pee-Wee plays a drug dealer in the movie “Blow.” Last but certainly not least, Pee-Wee Herman talking to me about drugs is hilarious. If it was Paul Reubens, the actor who played Pee-Wee could have worked, but when Pee-Wee Herman tells me to not do drugs, I feel like I’m going to die of laughter.
All of these PSAs have basically one thing in common. They all use scare tactics. If these commercials wanted to be effective, they should have used honesty. If the simply said, “Don’t do drugs. They can kill your brain cells, they can be addictive, and you could get in trouble for doing them,” they could be more effective. Unfortunately, these public service announcements do not work, and they never will, because they continue to rely on ridiculous scenarios, which they claim gets the audience’s attention. Instead, they only seem to further exasperate the issue and make drugs a topic that is even more of a joke to teens than it was before.
Drugs are absolutely not a joke. So why are the commercials designed to convey this message a joke themselves?
Ryan Lina can be reached for comment at [email protected]