Wake up, JC. I’m tired of walking by your grumpy faces in the halls before first mod. Although I have the least authority in giving you advice on how to wake up, because I’m the number one anti-morning person, I’ve decided to come up with some ways to get you all to wake up on the right side of the bed.

1. Before you go to sleep at night, put your phone/alarm clock/whatever you use to wake yourself up across the room from your bed. When it goes off in the morning, you’ll be forced to get up out of bed to turn it off. Boom. You’re already up and moving. I’d call that a good morning.

2. As soon as you wake up, check your social networks like they’re the morning paper. This is the method I use, and it works pretty well. I check my social networks in order of my least favorite site to my most favorite: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Warning: Initially, since you’re most likely looking at these on your phone, it’s going to feel like you’re looking directly at the face of the sun.

3. After checking your social networks, do some push ups, crunches, or jumping jacks. I know exercising is the last thing you want to do first thing in the morning, but it will get your energy levels up for the rest of the day and eliminate the food guilt that would usually come with chowing down on some delicious cookies from the cafeteria during lunch.

4. Set your alarm tone as your favorite song. I use “Blurred Lines” because the opening lyrics are “Everybody get up.” I like to respond by saying, “except for me!” and hitting the snooze button. Like I said, I’m not very good at getting up in the morning.

5. Think about something really good that’s going to happen to you sometime that day. That way, you’ll be excited to get up and get ready. You’ll start your day with a smile on your face.

6. If possible, get one of your parents to wake you up by scratching your back or playing with your hair. I don’t know about you, but I think that would be the best way to be woken up in the morning.

7. Keep your curtains, blinds, shades, etc. open during the night so that you wake up when the sun does.

Hopefully these tips will make my motto “Good morning is a contradiction of terms” false. I’ll see how these tips worked out for everyone by looking at your faces in the hallways tomorrow morning.

Kaley Martin is an Opinion Editor for The Patriot and jcpatriot.com.