Senior year, the year of lasts.  Last Homecoming, last high school football game, last yearbook.  A whole year dedicated to remembering the four fond years spent roaming the halls, laughing on off mods, and building relationships with friends and teachers.  As great and magical as all this may seem, there is one word that clouds every senior’s mind.  A seven letter, two-syllable word that can turn a joyful, pleasant mood into a panic-stricken, heart stopping one.

College.

Throughout my 17 years and nine months of life, I don’t think I have ever had to deal with anything quite as stressful as the college application and admissions process.  Perhaps it’s my type A personality, or the fact that I overthink insignificant things too much.  However, I know I’m not alone.  In less than a year, all of us will be in different parts of the U.S., maybe even the world.  In eight short months, most of us will be somewhere completely different from where we call home.  This may be exciting for some, but for an apprehensive worrywart like myself, this is no walk in the park.

The fact that I still have no idea where I am going to be in a year is unsettling.  That’s not to say I am not excited to go away to college, because I am.  I just wish I knew where I was going.  The anticipation and stress of finding out whether or not I will get into colleges of my choice is, honestly, exhausting.  Also, what if I make the wrong decision?  What if I end up in a place that I actually hate?  The countless hours spent contemplating these questions have, quite frankly, driven me mad.

Throughout this long, wearying process, I have become less and less enthusiastic about starting college, and more and more of an anxiety-ridden, somewhat insecure wreck.  I’ve begun to compare myself to every other senior I come across. My mind fills with questions like: “Do they have a higher SAT score than I do?”  “Are they applying to the same school as me?” “Do they have a better chance at acceptance than I do?”

This, obviously, is not good for anyone’s self-esteem, nor is it beneficial to friendships and relationships in school. Recently, I’ve begun to realize that senior year is more than that.  I should be taking in these last few months at JC, for they will soon be gone.  Instead of constantly worrying, I need to let fate do its thing.  I’ve applied and done everything I can, and that’s all I can do.

What I have realized, and what I think every senior needs to realize, is that everything will change when we go to college, and we are all going to end up where were supposed to be. Like I said, senior year is supposed to be a year of celebrating how far we’ve come in the last four years, and being eager to start a new adventure.  I will certainly not be spending this time worrying myself sick over things I have little control over.

Caitlin Wolfarth is a Lifestyles Editor for The Patriot and jcpatriot.com.