In my dystopia, everything is gray, including the people, animals, clothes, furniture, and cockroaches. All the buildings are square-shaped and look exactly alike. Sarah Palin is the dictator of the world, and she has ensured her longevity by drinking from the Fountain of Immortality.

There is a dentist office every quarter mile. From within, the sound of metal scraping across teeth is heard and broadcasted loudly outside for anyone who is unfortunate enough to be within earshot to cringe at.

On a topic relating to dental hygiene, Orbit White gum now gives one an excruciatingly painful feeling that will make any dirty mouth feel that much dirtier.

The ghastly smell of cauliflower being cooked pervades the planet. Cauliflower is the only food that humans are able to digest, and is consequently eaten at every meal, three times a day. It also grows on every tree, making the stench nearly impossible to evade.

Lady Gaga is just some fat, gray blob. J.K. Rowling decided that Harry Potter could never be published and burned the manuscript after its first rejection from the publisher.

Meanwhile, Ellen DeGeneres is not funny at all. Michele Bachmann voiced Dory in Disney’s “Finding Nemo” instead.

Kittens have been completely exterminated. The Authority found their innocent mews offensive. Now, the only pets people are allowed to have are gray moose.

This may sound cool, but  creates an inconvenience, since gray moose are quite large, and, being gray, blend in terribly well with the furniture.

Every household is required to have a gray moose, since not having one would make a person different from others. The Authority finds being different to be as offensive as the previously-mentioned kittens.

Music no longer exists. Instead, people sit around with blank looks on their faces and make moaning noises, indicating to each other how empty their lives seem to be. No one actually talks, because there is nothing worth saying.

All books have been burned and forgotten. The level of CO2 skyrocketed as a result of these book burnings, and now the average summer temperature is 120 degrees Fahrenheit. To make matters worse, none of the schools have air conditioning.

Everyone agrees with everyone else, so there is no need for discussion. Anyone who thinks there is a need for discussion has already been taken care of. People who have tried to express their individuality are dead, and now only the homogenized masses remain.

Scott Novak an Opinion Editor for The Patriot and jcpatriot.com.