Dina Lohan sues ‘Glee’ for factual claims

Kirby Browning, Copy Editor

Present-day society seems to feed on celebrity gossip. From scandals to pregnancy, the media thrives on its ability to overstate small parts of celebrity’s lives to keep readers interested in their everyday blogs, posts, and reports. Ultimately, the media attempts to curb society’s demanding appetite for gossip of any genre.

The majority of the public does not think twice about super celebrity couple breakups, whether or not Angelina Jolie adopts another baby from a third world country, or Paris Hilton’s scandalous activities.

So why is Dina Lohan so concerned about one mention of her daughter on a hit television show?

The mother of Lindsay Lohan feels the need to sue “Glee” as a way to fight back against a crude joke intended to slander her daughter’s celebrity status. During the episode in question, actress Gwyneth Paltrow plays a substitute Spanish teacher, teaching her class that Lindsay Lohan is “crazy” and that she has been to drug rehabilitation five times.

According to Glamour Vanity, a celebrity news and gossip website, Dina Lohan said, “Lindsay has an issue that millions of people around the world are dealing with, yet ‘Glee’ is treating addiction as a laughing matter.”

Dina, your daughter is a well-known celebrity who has been involved in numerous criminal charges including drugs, alcohol, and rehab. All of the claims stated on “Glee” were factual. None of these claims were fabricated, exaggerated, or modified in anyway. Your child is an adult and does not legally need your assistance in fighting her own battles with celebrity gossip figures like Perez Hilton.

In reality, celebrity gossip is only considered “breaking news” within the first 24 hours that it is posted. These insignificant pieces of information quickly become old news. The “inside scoop” involving celebrities are blogged daily.

In 1999, South Park aired an episode centered on the effects of suing others for small and trivial crimes. Previously known as “Sexual Harassment Panda,” the character takes on an alter ego known as Petey “Don’t Sue People” Panda. He comes into school and talks to the students and faculty about the negative effects of unnecessary suing. It takes excessive amounts of money from organizations, affects taxpayers, and ultimately, the entire nation.

Dina, you should take advice from Petey. If you were planning to sue someone, you should prosecute the Internet, the producers of Saturday Night Live, and the executives of any celebrity news and gossip organization in one fell swoop. Creating a lawsuit against one television show nearly four years after the media began reporting Lindsay’s illegal activities seems absurdly pointless.