For many of us in high school, the journey into adulthood is something I know brings many grievances, and, in all honesty, it is terrifying. However, it is important to acknowledge that our childhoods have shaped us into who we are today.
No one seems to like to talk about the grieving stage: the tossing of your first stuffed animal, the selling of your childhood clothes, or the passing down of beloved toys.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m still grieving my childhood blanket, “Sniffy.” However, nothing can compare to the milestones I know I have ahead of me.
Writing this, I may have some comfort, but knowing that adulthood is approaching is intimidating, and that is the thing about growing up—no one prepares you for the bittersweet feeling of having to say goodbye to pieces of yourself.
The act of letting go of our childhood can feel like so much, but it is just a part of life that is inevitable, and we all experience this in different ways, and some may process gradually while others are confronted with this all at once.
For me, the grief hit when I realized how many things I had outgrown without even noticing. It was not just the toys or the clothes.
It was the comfort of living in a time where everything felt less complicated, where being a young girl meant running around with messy hair and not caring about appearances. It meant playing with Barbies for hours or watching the Disney Channel in my childhood living room without worrying about deadlines.
Somewhere along the way, those carefree moments shifted. I traded my hours of coloring for a laptop and my carefree afternoons for studying. Sure there are beautiful things ahead, like the independence that comes with figuring out who you really are or facing those milestones.
As much as we like to romanticize the future, it does not erase the fact that the present can feel lonely, but I guess that’s adulthood.
We don’t talk about this — how it feels like grief — even if we do not have the right words for it. It is the sadness we feel when we try on our old clothes, and they no longer fit, not just physically, but emotionally, too. It’s how a simple object can hold so much meaning, but it can also feel like something we will never get back.
However, here we are growing into new versions of ourselves because of that grief. Each time we let go, we make room for the next version of who we will become, and for me that is college.
College is something I have no doubt will change me, but the feeling of not knowing what tomorrow will — or even what the next five months will bring — is the beauty of maturing.
Anticipating my next journey, taking into account what has made me into who I am, is worth remembering, and as we reflect and tell those childhood stories, it is not always pretty. Sometimes it hurts more than we want to admit. Still, eventually, we see it for what it really is: growth.
And Sniffy, that childhood blanket I still miss? It will always hold a place in my heart, but I know that what lies ahead will make those years feel like the beginning of something much bigger.
Maybe that is the real milestone is finding peace in our grievances while also celebrating the kids we once were, and the adults we’re becoming.