Upon entering the dim room, the putrid scent of decomposition and defecation hits your nostrils. Subtly tinged with Lysol, the aroma suffocates you as you gag and rush to the sinks, waving your hands in front of the faucets desperately until one of them finally spritzes you with tepid water. Ripping a paper towel from its dispenser, you flee to the door and fling it open, your eagerness to escape overcoming your repulsion at touching the gross and germy door handle.

Welcome to the bathrooms.

Of all the things JC must allocate money for this year, the bathrooms ought to be the number one priority. Their lockless stalls, broken faucets, rank smell, and general uncleanliness are significant issues that show the school in the worst possible light, especially to prospective students and their families, alumni, and any visiting athletes who have to undergo the horrors of the locker room bathrooms.

In all the bathrooms, the stench of a day’s use is amplified by the low ceilings and dim lighting, which make the room feel smaller and which concentrate the smell. The flickering, fluorescent lights that look like they belong in a gas station john add to the never-want-to-go-to-the-bathroom-here-again feeling that everyone loves.

Within the two main floor women’s bathrooms, two of the stalls simply don’t have locks, while a stall in the locker room bathroom has been wedged shut. Lockless stalls have been a chronic problem for as long as I can remember, as have the broken faucets.

In the women’s second floor bathroom, only two of the five faucets are currently working and on the equivalent men’s restroom, just three of the five function. On the third floor, merely half of the six women’s sinks are in working condition. The remaining bone-dry sink bowls are stained by the last vestiges of soap scum that wasn’t quite washed out before the faucets shut down. I cannot remember a time in my previous three years at JC where all of the faucets worked. How could this have been overlooked for so long?

In the locker rooms, the outdated sinks require you to hold the knob to maintain the water flow, turning “washing” your hands into simply rinsing your hands and adding joy to the lives of bacteria everywhere.

Additionally, the creative phallic artwork of the male students should be kept off the bathroom walls, and the urine should be kept in its proper place. According to my male sources, some people have completely abandoned the use of urinals at all and prefer to let themselves go all over the floor. This too must stop, although I know that’s not as easy a fix.

Two years ago, in the summer of 2012, the front hallway that faced the courtyard was revamped, as were the bathrooms there. For the most part, they are the well-lit, spacious, clean-looking facilities that the other restrooms aspire to be. If JC wants to be known as a quality private high school, similar attention, regardless of cost and time, must now be given to the academic wing and locker room bathrooms, which desperately need some love.

For updated coverage click here.

Kathy Deaver is the Online Chief for The Patriot and jcpatriot.com.