Ugly.
Stupid.
Never good enough.
These are things that ran through one JC student’s mind on a daily basis. “I’ve never really liked myself as a person… I don’t think I’m very good looking, I don’t really deal with people well, and I don’t think I’m very easy to get along with,” the student said.
These constant tortures led the student to cut. “I’m afraid of blades so instead I just clutched my arms with my fingers until my nails dug in and caused the bleeding,” the student said.
It wasn’t just one thing that caused this student’s cutting. “I think the pressures of being a teenager are really heavy. There’s appearance, studies, sports, and just overall happiness. It can be rough sometimes and you really need a way to de-stress. Stress is probably the biggest thing that got me to that point.”
Reaching out to a friend is what hepled the student stop cutting. “A couple of months ago I confessed that I was doing this to a really good friend of mine who lives sort of far away. She used to cut herself when she was my age, even a little younger than I am,” the student said.
“Her case was more severe than mine, but when I told her what was going on she treated it just as seriously as her own. She told me that she was always there to talk, and once I found someone to really vent to, things got better. It was hard to pull away and to be honest. I’m surprised I’ve done so well. It’s easy to get into, but it’s hard to get out of,” the student said.
Realizing that cutting was a serious issue was part of what made this student decide to talk to someone. “I kind of realized it [was bad] the first time I did it. I did it a couple more times before I actually told anyone, though. I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything. It hurt too much,” the student said.
According to the student, the hypocrisy of the situation struck them as well. “Ever since I first knew what it was, I’ve always advocated towards being there for those who self-harm. I’ve always said there were better ways to deal with your problems, and I knew that doing it myself was just letting down everyone I’ve ever tried to help,” the student said.
Although this student has stopped cutting, it is still a daily battle. “It has been about a month or so since the last time I [cut myself]. The truth is that I’m still recovering. I had a bad night a couple of weeks ago and I bled a little bit more. It wasn’t as bad as any of the other times, but it still happened,” the student said.
They also want to help other students struggling with this battle. “You need to find someone who cares, someone you trust, and talk to them. I did this to myself because I just felt too alone to deal with it all. It really can be prevented if you just have a friend who you know you can talk to,” the student said.
Guidance counselor Carol Heflin-Shupe agrees. “Because [cutting] is addictive, they think they can stop, but it is very difficult to do without some support,” Heflin-Shupe said.
“[We can] help kids realize there are other options than cutting that they can turn to before it gets there, because once they start, it is hard to stop,” Heflin-Shupe said.
For those who know someone who cuts themselves, Heflin-Shupe’s advice is: “If you know someone who is cutting, no matter how long, helping them get help is important. You can’t do it for them, but you can help them. Help them see its ok to get help.”
“I’m not completely happy with how things are going right now in my life. A lot of things are making me unhappy, but the difference is now I have someone to talk about it with. I know it’s all getting better. I can feel it,” the student said.
Ashley Beyer is a Lifestyles Editor for The Patriot and jcpatriot.com.