Sports Reports: Fantasy Football is every man’s dream come true

Sports Editor Eric Johnson discusses topics on in-season sports and issues in sports all across America. Reading this column will not only make you chuckle, but it will also change your life in the most positive way known to man.

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Eric Johnson, Sports Editor

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and I’m not talking about Starbucks breaking out the pumpkin goodies. Brace yourselves for the testosterone contest known as Fantasy Football.

Fantasy Football leagues are a staple of camaraderie because nothing is better than shoving your team’s dominance into your friends’ faces. Ironically enough, your success is based off complete luck, but you treat each point like your own stats.

Of course, all team owners know the heartbreak and stress that comes with playing the game. I made the mistake of sitting Denver Broncos wide receiver Demaryius Thomas after he struggled for three weeks and came off of a bye week. So what better of a time is there for Thomas to score two touchdowns and 226 receiving yards?

Since Thomas has consistently earned over 10 points for the past five weeks, he’s become my starting wide receiver and continues to hold the expectations set for him as the No. 2 receiver in the NFL.

Then there are players like Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck and Dallas Cowboys running back DeMarco Murray that boast an average of around 20 points each week. It’s just not fair. I went against my buddy’s team, with Luck and Green Bay Packers wide receiver Randall Cobb, who combined for 57 points. But Luck was on my side—see what I did there?—and after Cowboys kicker Dan Bailey hit the extra point in the dwindling moments of the fourth quarter, I defeated him 98.06-98.02.

I lied to him and told him, “Man, you should’ve won that game,” just so he didn’t become too sore over it. I was handed my first loss in week six and sure, I was bitter. But I rebounded next week and put up 120 points.

The best part of Fantasy Football is you don’t have to know much about football to play. One of the participating owners in my league believed the Arizona Andersons were a team, and he drafted Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning and DeMarco Murray.

On the other hand, with the first pick in our draft, my friend drafted Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson, who, after idiocy and aggressiveness off the field, was banned from the NFL, making my friend’s pick a waste.

So how do you start the perfect team? A great question. I believe it requires some reference to the NFL expert, Michael Fabiano, who has a wonderful “Start ‘em Sit ‘em” segment week to week on nfl.com. Even though they aren’t always the most accurate (he chose New England Patriots running back Shane Vereen as the “Sit of the Week” but Vereen ended up with 23 points), they’re incredibly close. It’s even argued that having a perfect record in Fantasy Football is more coveted than a perfect season in the NFL.

The nature of the beast is also the beauty in her. Due to her unpredictable tendencies, results vary from huge disappointments to bountiful success.

If you don’t have a team, you might want to reconsider some life choices. For those of you that do have a team, put on your chinstraps because playoffs are right around the corner.

Eric Johnson is a Sports Editor for The Patriot and jcpatriot.com.